Given recent events I felt it was appropriate to start a new journal, after all it would be terribly rude to give only myself the opportunity to note down my thoughts. This shall be a shared journal between myself, Ardal and my new friend Ziobohn.
I've never really been one for sharing. Well not for as long as I can remember anyway. Whilst in the abyss all I knew was hiding in the shadows and avoiding the creatures that dwelled there. But one could not stray too far into the depths, for therein lay abominations even demons feared. But since I was summoned I was only focused on breaking that wizard in. Like a pair of shoes. Just took time. But this host is different.
Normally people either get overwhelmed with the possibilities and attempt to strike bargains to get our ilk to serve them or they panic and try to flee. I've never heard of a group beating not one but two demons into submission and then trying to reform them… I suppose I should be grateful. But I can't find it in myself to look past the sheer stupidity of it. How someone in the group isn't pregnant with demon spawn yet I'll never know.
It's been a mixed bag recently. On the one hand we are intrepid adventurers with all the fun and glory such a job title infers. On the other hand things haven't been going as well. Firstly, had a shadow demon rip me apart from the inside. Was rather painful and marks the 5th time I have nearly died. Secondly, Eulisses thinks he is real funny guy. I'm sure he could barely contain his laughter watching me go through the hoops to become nobility.
You know what?
Getting real sick of people treating my existence as a joke. Their condescending attitude of “aw, look at him try”. When really if they had to suffer through what I had to suffer to get here they would have given up long ago. I digress, Euilisses's “joke” complicates matters. However if he will make it impossible for me to work within the current structures then I will work outside of them. I don't need him, or his friends, or his influence or his damn book. His arrogance will be his undoing.
This hosts aspirations while admirable are just as foolish. Why it wants to have its people be free I'll never know. How can a creature that was raised in a state they described to me not want to be the Emperor? Why wouldn't it want the power, fame, glory or anything?! While surrounded by these… eccentric allies, anything could eventually be possible. Everything could be theirs! Why would it not take all it deserved and then whatever else it can claw away from others?! Why should anyone get what it doesn't?
I shouldn't get so worked up.
Also now have Ziobohn in my head which is… different. I'm sure the rest of the group thinks me mad or worse. I can't in good conscience deny a creature's request for mercy though. I guess they don't get that there's good in everyone even if you can't see it. Honestly I don't expect anyone to get it. That's fine though, I'll bear that burden by myself if need be.
At some point this host will understand. It seems to have gotten this notion that there's "good" in everything. It needs to see that it's the other way around. No matter how good something seems to be, there's darkness within. Everything is evil at its core and its either blatant like a demon or hidden like an angel. The sooner it understands this, the sooner we can take what we deserve from the world.
Now before we head off to the capital I should really figure out how I'm going to feed us. Generally speaking abyssal leaks aren't exactly common. Eating people's souls is out of the question. I think I'll just ask Dranhiro, I imagine he'll know what to do.
Italicised excerpts written while Ziobohn was in control… of one hand